15.1.09

a guy would choose hell over heaven


alkole abanma vakti geliyo galiba... hangi insan What Dreams May Come'ın ölümcül sahneleriyle uyanıp güne bok gibi başlayabilir ki...


"what is true in our minds is true.whether some people know it or not.that is when i realised i am part of the problem.not because i remind you.but because i could not join you.so i left you alone.don't give up, ok?
.
.
i'm sorry, babe.
there's some things i have to say.
i've only got a few moments left.
i'm sorry for all the things i'll never give you.
i'll never buy you another meatball sub with extra sauce.
and always the big one.
i'll never make you smile.
i just wanted us to be old together.
two old farts laughing at each other as our bodies fell apart.
together at the end.
by that lake in your painting.
that was our heaven, see?
there's lots of things to miss.
books...naps...kisses...and fights.
oh, god, we had some great ones!
thank you for every kindness.
thank you for our children.for the first time i saw them.
thank you for being someone i was always proud to be with.
for your guts,for your sweetness.
for how you always looked,
for how i always wanted to touch you.
god, you were my life.
i apologise for every time i failed you.
especially this one.
.
.
good people go to hell because they can't forgive themselves.
i know i can't.
but i can forgive you.
-for killing my children?
-and my sweet husband?
no.
for being so wonderful, a guy would choose hell over heaven,
just to hang around you.
not because i remind you...
but because i couldn't join you.
sorry i left you alone.
don't give up, ok?"
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